My Mentors

In his book, Where Have All the Leaders Gone, Lee Iacocca lists five mentors: Nicola Iacocca (his father) gave him optimism; Charlie Beacham gave him common sense; Robert McNamara gave him discipline; his mother gave him love; and his wife Mary (who died of Diabetes Type 1 complications) gave him courage. Iacocca inspired me to think of the mentors in my life.

My Grandmother
My first mentor, my grandmother, Juanita Avendaño de Montoya, gave me ambition, perseverance, and strength.
She once was wrongfully terminated; she, along with her union, fought her former employer and won a wonderful settlement. The money was used to buy a house. Some people lived in cardboard boxes; I was proud to live in a brick and mortar house.
Grandmother was a woman of great determination and she worked hard to feed us, although, at times, food was scarce. She was industrious from sun-up to sun-down: cooking, crocheting, sewing, and gardening; I inherited her industrious ways!
Grandmother was an entrepreneur. She developed a successful door-to-door sales route selling clothes she bought from a thrift store.
Every Saturday morning we shopped at the same thrift store in Calexico. I guess this is why I love antiques; the look and feel of old things fascinates me! The little woman chose the best of the clothes to purchase, but even if they seemed long-gone-has-beens she took them home, laundered and mended them, or cut them up and sewed something completely new. Grandmother was kind and often extended credit to people who couldn’t pay.

Mrs. Jorgensen
Mrs. Jorgensen, my first-grade teacher, gave me discipline and love of reading. She spent many hours mentoring me when other teachers were taking breaks. I love reading because of her; I have a passion for books. I check out more than a dozen books at the library every week.
I received many honors for reading, and in eighth grade, I received the Presidential Academic Award. I guess I’m bragging…forgive me!

Mrs. Jones
Mrs. Jones gave me shelter, love for humanity, and love of music. She had been my third-grade teacher, and when I needed a foster home, because of troubles at home in my sixth grade, she embraced me with loving arms.
Once she had been my teacher, now she was my mother! I was already determined I was going to University, Shirley further branded higher education in my heart. She taught me to cook and sew. She was an accomplished pianist and she taught me to play the piano!

Mr. Himes
Mr. Himes was a brilliant mathematician and retired teacher. He encouraged me to further my education. He shared his books and the bounty of his backyard garden with me every year at Christmas. I made tamales and gave him several dozen, and he would bring me oranges, tangerines, canned green beans (my favorite), and tomatoes for our Christmas supper.
He had been in a secret WWII mission, and where many men would have bragged of their clandestine adventures, he never talked about it; he was too humble to brag! His son spoke of it at his memorial.
The last time I saw him he was but a skeleton. I massaged his feet as he lay in home hospice.
Mr. Himes was a surrogate father, and gave me admiration, affection, and encouragement. And for a lonely, country girl living in the big city, this was very charitable.

Jeanie Cash
Jeanie Cash received the National Principal of the year award; when I worked with her I understood why. She had been a motivating teacher, and now she was a dynamic administrator.
She hired me to help the Reading Specialist a few hours per day. But eventually she developed a job just for me. She opened a children’s science museum and she gave me creative license! I was the school’s science curator-and I loved it! I demonstrated small-interactive-science experiments to the children.
Jeanie encouraged me to return to school by giving me flexible working hours, and I was able to further my education. Some employers speak of flex hours and when you ask for time off they frown. Jeanie was a transformational leader!
~~~

Some of my teachers considered their job a ministry and others hated going to work and screamed at us. Which one made a difference? Which one sent out a conscious ripple of goodness that is riveting today through students who are teachers, lawyers, or doctors who will find the cure for cancer?
The future of our county weighs heavily on our teachers! Aside from family, teachers are often a child’s first mentor; it IS an honor! They deserve a good salary!
Mentors gave me hope; their love and guidance empowered me. I fully believe God sent them to me! The life I touch for good or ill will touch another life, and that in turn another, until who knows where the trembling stops or in what far place my touch will be felt. ~Frederick Buechner
My mentors were educators who were truly the salt of the earth. I was a child with a good mind, and back before No Child Left Behind these individuals helped me succeed in school! As an adult, they recognized my drive and their accolades propelled me to higher levels.
No one can make it alone! We need each other along the lumps and bumps of life. Ask God to send you a mentor and always be ready for one. God says, “Ask and it shall be given unto you."
Desires expressed with passion to the Universe return fulfilled. The Universe has no choice but to grant your heart’s earnest desire. Be diligent with your wishes. Be positive, deny negative!
In Native American tradition, once you hit the half-century mark you are considered a grandparent whether you have grandchildren or not! It is a beautiful tradition that embraces elders (mentors) teaching the younger generation.
As a grandmother, I hope that I can be a mentor to my grandchildren and pass on the wisdom I have learned.
I experienced many setbacks, failures, trials, but I trudged on with the help of mentors. And like the stream they helped me win! In the confrontation between the stream & the rock, the stream always wins, not through strength but by perseverance.~H.J.Brown.

What Will I be When I Grow Up?

When I was a child I wondered what I would be when I grew up. I vacillated from wishing to be a teacher and a research biologist. And for a while I wanted to be a doctor! No, I didn’t want to be a doctor for the money. Even as a little girl I was altruistic! If I had gone to medical school, I would have joined Doctors without Borders (USA: http://doctorswithoutborders.org/; International: http://www.msf.org/).

Most of the time all I wanted to be was a research biologist. Occasionally, while I was hanging out the wash for my mother, (back in the day when women used wringer washers) in the backyard clothes line, I would pretend I was a famous singer standing on stage and the clothes were my audience. And I once wanted to be Gypsy Rose Lee after seeing my favorite actress Natalie Wood portray her in a movie of the same name! Oh, yeah, did I tell you about the time God talked to me and wanted me to be nun? Well, that’s another story.

I took all the right classes in high school and went to Junior College and had to quit when my husband moved us to Los Angeles County to attend Seminary. I placed my career and educational goals aside for almost a decade while I supported his career choice. Michael went to school all day and worked till midnight. I chose to take a few classes at the local Junior college and not attend school full-time. I thought it was better for our three boys to have at least one parent that was active in their lives.

Later, our family moved to Gilroy, California where my husband ministered a church. Again, I took a few classes at the local college and I rode my bike down the winding roads to Gavilan College. I worked in the Biology department on a special project. I knew then what I wanted to do when I grew up! I was going to be a Research Biologist!

We returned to Los Angeles County when my husband was offered a youth-ministry post. By now I had enough credits for two degrees and I was urged by a professor to transfer to a University. She suggested I take premed courses and then go to medical school. I was admitted to Long Beach State and I majored in Microbiology. I loved it! However, our family was financially devastated from the stay in Northern California and our return to Southern California. A friend offered me a full-time job at Kaiser Permanente and I have worked here for over twenty years. What happened to Medical School? I couldn’t keep up the pace of classes, be a good mother, and work full-time. I tried and I burnt out!

I was now an office clerk with great health benefits and job security. While our boys were in high school I didn’t take any college classes but I studied for a specialized-national examination to help me advance at Kaiser. I also dedicated many volunteer hours to our church and attended the boys’ school activities during these years. At times, my co-workers laughed at me when I was heard saying, “What am I’m going to be when I grow up?”

Never wishing to give up on my educational goals, I later enrolled at the University of La Verne and finished my Bachelor’s Degree in Business and continued with an MBA. Currently I’m pursuing a PhD in Business. I am a lifetime student!

I started writing a book about five years ago, a historical-romance novel that I’m still working on. I blog, and volunteer in areas where I feel I can help others. I fully enjoy my position as Compliance Consultant and physician educator. I’m often asked if I regret not going to Medical School--nah! I’m not one to live in regrets! I look for the positive in the choices I made. I am where I should be and exactly where I was meant to be.

I have friends who always knew what they wanted to do when they grew up, taking the right courses in high school and transferring to an Ivy League University. This is great; I applaud them and bow in their honor. My educational path had many peaks and valleys, twists and turns, bikes and buses, and worn-out shoes! It was through sheer persistence and perseverance that I finished!

Sometimes people don’t know where you’ve been or where you’re headed-they ridicule without understanding. You need to listen to your heart, pray diligently, and take time for meditative reflection. Ask God for guidance in the direction you should take; He will answer.

So what am I now that I’m all grown up? A writer, volunteer, physician educator, and a life-time student! Hey, did I say I was all grown up—oops, my mistake!


Melinda Ramsay

September 11, 2009

What Success Means to Me

Success is not always measured in how much money you have in the bank or what type of job you do. True success is felt in the heart and is personal to each individual.
For me, success has been raising three handsome, conscientious men who work hard and love their family! Success is hearing my son say, “Mom, you’re the greatest mom!” That’s success!
I measure success through my education. For many years I pursued my education and kept a low-key at work, never wanting to get too involved with work except for putting in a good day’s work. My priority was my family! Although, don’t ask my sons, they remember when I put them to bed before the sun went down in the summer while their friends were outside playing in the street so I could study for an exam the next morning. Oh, and by the way, I passed that test with an A+! I took the boys to my school so they could see my grade posted on the wall: Hermelinda Ramsay—A+!
I am the only one of nine children to finish high school and attend a University! Friends teased me for many years and called me a “lifetime-student” because it took me so long to finish. After attending five schools and moving numerous times I finally graduated. Does it really matter that I took the road less traveled? Isn’t what is important the fact that I now hold an MBA?
I’ve had friends climb the corporate ladder very quickly at the expense of their family. When a person’s job becomes the focus of their priority the balance of life is off!
There’s nothing wrong with climbing the corporate ladder, but not at the expense of loosing your children to drugs or whatever else is out there, or missing out on their childhood. Those precious years go fast!
I am successful because I am not an alcoholic as my DNA predestined me to be! I never became a gang member or a heroine addict as members of my family. I did not die in my mother’s arms because my liver was mush from Cirrhosis as my sister Connie, or die in an alley with a needle in my vein like my brother Paul. And I could tell you about other family members but it’s too painful-you’ve heard enough! I will die old and see my grandchildren’s children play, and I will read them the Spanky the Dog stories I’m writing and watch their little bellies wiggle as they giggle.
Success-what is it to you? Is it having a sports car, mutual funds, or owning multiple properties? That’s all good in God’s earth. My success is one of maternal instincts and personal strength to rise above my past.
Success has been defined differently with each passing decade. I am in the fifth decade of my life and I am now pursuing many of things I always wanted to do: start a business, write a historical-romance novel and a children’s series, and obtain a PhD; I have many friends and a tight-knit family and I smile when the sun goes down.

Once Upon a Time in America

Once Upon a Time in America
(The Little School House is where I learned to read)


My first day in school was a memorable day. I attended elementary school in the late 60’s and early 70’s and I couldn’t speak a word of English. I was a spoiled, bratty child and I lived with Abuelita until I was six, and you all know how doting Latino grandparents can be. My Abuelita was no exception. Hell, I didn’t know I had parents, I thought Abuelita was my “parent”. I had no concept of a traditional family. My family consisted of my grandmother and Uncle Enrique.
I remember the white school house set in the middle of alfalfa fields in the North side of Imperial County. This was migrant-worker territory. There were two classes: the haves, and the have-nots.
In the 60’s, there was no such thing as English as a Second Language. You learned to speak English or you were out of luck or stuck in a closet.
In that small room, with first and second graders, I behaved like a monkey in the jungle. I ran in and out of desks, closets, and over anything in my way. I kicked the stupid boys and made the girls cry when I pulled their hair. The teacher yelled something and I had no idea what she said. Her voice grew shrill, still, I had no idea what the woman wanted. I continued my play with my new friends. The classroom was MY jungle!
Mrs. Jorgensen grabbed my long, black hair and pulled me towards a desk! Whoa! I had never been treated so abruptly. My mouth trembled as a tear escaped my eye. She yelled, and yelled some more as I sat crying as she raised her voice with words with no meaning!
From that moment on, I figured when the teacher’s voice grew loud I should pay attention to her hand signals and stop whatever shenanigans I was up to and sit down.
How I won this woman’s heart is still a mystery to me. This dear woman grew to love me and would spend every recess holding a Jack-and-Jill primer for me as my little index finger followed the words along the page. Within a year I spoke and read fluent English! Abuelita was so proud of me!
It was in this small classroom, with a white-steeple, where I became addicted to reading. I could not get enough! I won the school library readers’ contest. I read on the school bus ride home. I read at the dinner table. I read in bed and used a flashlight when the lights were turned off.
One person can make a difference in a child’s life. Mrs. Jorgensen was a true professional and gave me a world of mystery, drama, and comedy.
I weeded cotton fields as a little girl, but because someone loved to teach, I did not grow up to be a migrant worker and now sit in an air-conditioned office consulting and educating physicians.

Hermelinda Saine Ramsay
September 30, 2008